I’ve been putting off writing this for awhile now, because I didn’t want to poke anyone. However, just like on Facebook, sometimes it is time.

“The Partridge Family” TV series, STARRING SHIRLEY JONES and FEATURING DAVID CASSIDY, which ran from September of 1970 to June of 1974, happened to have had a TV viewership of from 26 (that’s TWENTY-SIX) to 30 (that’s THIRTY) MILLION viewers for the first three seasons. Oscar-winning hot mom Shirley Jones faked rocking with her two gorgeous teenagers and average younger children with manager Reuben Kincaid (Dave Madden formerly of “Laugh-In” fame) finding all sorts of ways to mess up their club and park shows. They never really played, Shirley hardly sang, and only David toured his rear off. Literally.

Even in the final year, opposite ALL IN THE FAMILY and cursed with Ricky Segal, it reached an audience of 15-16 MILLION viewers per episode. Against the number one new show in the country. Lovable bigot Archie Bunker.

The Partridge Family was NOT canceled due to poor ratings; it was canceled because David Cassidy needed to get out of a situation that was becoming increasingly untenable for his personal mental and physical well-being. In addition, money Screen Gems had reserved for radio promotion now went directly to Mr. Cassidy in a contract re-upping coup (Cassidy had been a minor when the original heinous contract had been signed.) However, no payola, no airplay, no hits. No one was ever nice (or brave) enough to tell Mr. Cassidy he would have to pay for his own record airplay promotion from that time forward.

As far as those insane viewership numbers? Don’t take my word for it; google it. Nielsen Numbers don’t lie.

26 to 30 MILLION.

Fast forward to today:

MTV is OVERJOYED when “Jersey Shore”, one of the highest quality shows of all time (with critical raves to prove it!!) got 8.4 MILLION discerning viewers for the debut episode of season THREE, and brags that the second season averaged 5.2 MILLION viewers per episode, and those numbers being all-time highs for the network.

While “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” reality show dipped in viewing figures between the fifth and six seasons – from an average of 3.5 MILLION to 3 MILLION.

As we know, both these shows will be in eternal syndication long after the downfall of western civilization they caused. Like Donna Reed and I Love Lucy, they will be watched a thousand years from now. Not. Lucy and Donna Reed, yes. The Partridge Family and the Brady Bunch? Hell yes. Jersey Shore and Kardashians? Please.

Okay. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that 20 MILLION of those original Partridge Family viewers are DEAD. Not remotely true, but let’s just say it for kicks (X-er’s HATE boomers). That leaves 6 to 10 MILLION still alive and tooting around in their hoverrounds.

And let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that an incredible number of ONE million of those original viewers are absolute David Cassidy fan diehards and would rather Shirley Jones be dead than perform with any other rock band. (Don’t laugh, you can google online arguments with more than a few of THOSE PEOPLE.)

That would leave, out of the original fan base, FIVE to NINE million people who would want DESPERATELY to tune into a show each week watching Shirley Jones learn to rock for real. Especially if it had a heart and wasn’t about Danny Bonaduce wrecking the great middle of his life.

And that’s out of the ORIGINAL airing of the series. Not counting new fans from the MAJOR AIRING on MTV at the end of the 80’s nor the MAJOR AIRING on NICK AT NITE from 1991 to 1993, getting yet ANOTHER THIRD generation of Shirley Jones/Partridge Family fans. OR none of the fans from the CONSTANT running in syndication, WORLD WIDE.

Add to this mythical TV show about Shirley joining a real rock band and learning to rock for real, a contest where THREE FAMILIES win an all-expense paid vacation to Las Vegas and live in the tremendous huge house (originally designed for Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver and yes, THAT maid) and major cash and sponsor prizes of 1st Prize $100,000 and a week in the house/Vegas Vacation, 2nd Prize $50,000 cash and five days in the house/ Vegas Vacation, 3rd Prize $25,000 and a three-day weekend in the house/Vegas vacation, with all the free comped shows and meals and limo serivce Las Vegas has to offer. Let’s make this contest show LIVE, and do a LIVE DRAWING with all three families present. Add to it hundreds of other prizes viewers at home will win.

Starting to look a bit more like American Idol, isn’t it, ONLY THE PRIZE WINNERS AREN’T THE FOLKS ON THE SHOW, BUT ACTUALLY IN THE VIEWING AUDIENCE. The viewing audience doesn’t get to vote for the winners at their own expense per call; they have an actual chance to BE THE WINNERS. I think that’s worth at least another 2 MILLION viewers who normally wouldn’t watch a band show, how about you?

Add to it the MAJOR ROCK stars, Partridge Family fans themselves, who will LINE UP and BATTLE EACH OTHER over a chance to appear in one episode, teaching Shirley to rock for real, while the rest of the cast records and works with major choreographer TRAVIS PAYNE (Michael Jackson, remember him?) as they rehearse for their first major tour in filming hiatus after the first season.

Oh. Kind of the the American Idol and Glee tours. Wow. Coming each summer to a town near you.

Only with a built-in base of how many millions of fans?

Wow. Why isn’t this on the air already?

What’s that you say? There’s more? This isn’t just ONE show on a formerly MAJOR network?

There’s also a RENO show, which concentrates solely on the reno of the house by HOLMES HOMES? You mean HOLMES HOMES of MIKE HOLMES? As in “HOLMES ON HOLMES”, Number ONE reno series of all time on HGTV and HGTV-Canada?

And that show shares the CONTEST? And the live contest broadcast happens on BOTH networks SIMULTANEOUSLY at the end of each season?

One reno show reinforcing the music show and vice versa?

So let me get this straight. Better than Idol (VIEWERS win, not cast, not to mention far cheaper), PLUS the Partridge Family fan base, Glee, only for REAL (real musicians NOT actors), PLUS Holmes on Holmes? IN TWO mutually reinforcing series?

QUICK. SOMEONE GET ME ON THE PHONE TO THEM BEFORE ANYONE ELSE DOES!!

AND GET LEGAL ON THE OTHER LINE!

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